How do you wait?
19 May 2009 Leave a Comment
in Jobs, Money, My Ever Changing Life, Prayer, Randomness, Singleness
I find myself in another season/time of waiting. I am working, YEAH! But in my job, I wait for instructions on what to do. I get something to do, and I do it, then I wait for more instructions. I assert myself, and do things by my own intiative, then I wait for more work to do. So I “hurry up and wait.” I am in a great relationship with a man that I love, YEAH! We have great times together, he loves me, and we want to get married. We know we are going there, YEAH! We talk and talk, and the money isn’t there for a ring yet. Things keep coming up. So, I wait. I want to plan things, but I can’t till we’re engaged. So, I wait. SO, how do you wait? This season is SO full of “hurry up and wait.” I want to just enjoy the time, right where I’m at, so I don’t look back and say, “how did I get here?” This is the season of life that I’ve hurried through before, just to miss things. I don’t want to miss the little things this time. I want to enjoy. Lord, help me to enjoy this season you have me in. I know if you wanted me in another time, I’d be there…but obviously you don’t…so here I am. Help me wait.
My Friends’ Podcast
28 Apr 2009 Leave a Comment
in Friends, Ministry, Money, Randomness, Singleness, Uncategorized
Hello World,
I wanted to take this opportunity to direct you to a podcast that my friends Mike and Marti are doing. They are a brother and sister team, missionary kids grown-up. They are talking about “life, love, and the persuit of happiness with an acerbic wit.” They are very funny and insightful. Check them out. Check out their podcast here…I also have an RSS feed set-up in my widgets…click their link to go directly to their podcast page. Enjoy!
In the quietness of the day
31 Mar 2009 Leave a Comment
in Ministry, My Ever Changing Life, Randomness
I’m sitting in my office (in my apartment) re-reading some of my entries from the past. I came upon “restore my joy.” It was one I had written after spending sometime on my back and an ER visit after a muscle spasm in my back. It was not a fun experience. But realizing that my eyes were focused on circumstances and not the Lord, I needed a “spiritual pick-me-up.”
Its much like these days. I’m not depressed or anything. I’m just in need of a pick-me-up. I’m in the transitions of life. I begin “work” tomorrow. I say work loosely because my official start date is tomorrow, but after talking with Mark (my boss) he’s not sure what I’ll be doing right away. There are still preparations the need to take place in order to hand over the day-to-day administration to me. So while it’s gonna be a bit more relaxing to know that I’ll be making money again soon, its a bit unnerving to not know what it’ll entail.
This whole season has been a trying one. Its been full of waiting, watching, expecting, and trusting. The underlying question is always, “Do you trust me?” It’s God’s way of telling me to let it go, and let Him handle things. It’s true, from the problems I’ve had with my back, to my jobs, to my love life. When he handles it, it goes better with little worry from me. I know this new position in my life is more then a vocation. It’s more then a way He is going to provide for me…I know that He has readied this next step in my life for me since…well, let’s just say since WAY before I was even remotely aware. Why am I so dependant on outside circumstances? Why do I have such a need to “do” things? Why can’t I just be still?
MORE Waiting…
08 Sep 2008 Leave a Comment
in Blogging, My Ever Changing Life, My Writing Life, Randomness
So today is a day of more waiting time…waiting for things to start again, for life to get “fun.” Not that my life isn’t void of fun, but over-all it’s just here. Ever notice that waiting is no fun…b/c generally when you’re waiting, you’re not doing anything. You’re just sitting on your hands until the thing you’re waiting for shows up and you can grab it.
This time I’m waiting for work to be over. Normally I leave at 5…it’s 6:03 pm! It’ll be at least another 15 minutes before I can leave. Ya see…in my new temp job, I’m one of the people (the only one left today) that can correct orders to be sure they get out on time. So, I sit here…waiting. Only instead of sitting on my hands doing nothing, I’m blogging. I’ve been away from it for so long and just recently felt the need to come back.
I thinks it’s because of part of the prophetic word I received a few weeks ago. I was told that I had a similar spirit to a scribe…a writer! And that I should write more and write everything! Funny how God brings back things into our lives that are good when we’ve gotten away from them. Writing has always been a way to think, reflect, and communicate with God for me. Getting away from it, during my “quiet period” I guess was my way of shutting down. But now, lately, even admist all the waiting, I’ve felt like I’ve gotten my voice back. Writing enables me to speak again.
So, I’m waiting for the warehouse to call and say, “we’re done!” But I think I’m waiting to speak again, waiting to talk, to express myself in such a way that is pleasing to the Lord.
Loosing out on what?
31 May 2007 Leave a Comment
in Ministry, Randomness, Singleness
After a short conversation with our Office Manager this morning about the changing of our culture and how she doesn’t understand how we as the church are so far off, she put an article on my desk to read titled, “We don’t date, We hook up.” She thought I’d be interested to read about the culture that she’s so shocked by that I’m in the middle of (or at least on the tail end of).
The article was about the movement and preferrence of young women (high school and college aged women) to simply hook up (a.k.a. fool around, no strings attached) with guys rather than enter into a relationship. The writer reported that she followed nine high school and college girls for two years and found that for those girls not “hooking up” often meant losing out. Loosing out on what? On heart ache, on depression, on a never-ending cycle of hurts. I can live without that.
The article did go on to site that some women aren’t OK with the occasional booty call, one night stand, and the friends with benefits scenerio and its these women who are getting hurt. I would say that about 90% of women, deep down aren’t OK with it. It hurts to give so much of yourself to someone and then have them walk away with it. I’ve witnessed it first hand. The ending quote, condoning this behavior the writer used was from a girl who ended up marrying her hook up. She says, “At the end of the day, its really fun, as long as your are safe and emotionally healthy, its just experiences. It’s stories to make brunch with your girlfriends much more interesting.” WHAT!!!?
Ok, so I admit I’m coming at this from a very pure vantage point. I’ve been in two serious relationships in the last four years and didn’t kiss either of them (not entirely my choice) and I haven’t been kissed since my sophomore year in high school. (Mind you the time between my sophomore year and the first of the serious relationships four years ago, the no kissing thing was a lot less conviction and more a lack of other options) So what changed for me in that time between? Conviction! Honest growth of understanding what power even a simple kiss can have. I made a commitment to myself and to God and to my future spouse that I wouldn’t do anything that was not honoring to my husband. And last time I checked, kissing other guys isn’t very honoring to your husband.
So while I’m not calling for a total monistiary mentality…but, I am challenged by my culture. Its making the divide between myself (and I would hope others who’ve made similar decisions) even wider. I am becoming more “freak-like” in nature and based on comments reacting to the article by a friend, she is too! And I can bet that neither of us mind too much! 
Although we are saddened by the state of young women in our culture today.
