On being a writer
26 Feb 2010 Leave a Comment
in Blogging, Family, My Writing Life
So its been a long time since I’ve written. Some reasons may have to do with the excitement and business of planning a wedding, getting married, and settling into a new way of life. But if I were honest, its been much before that my writing regularly drifted off into almost never. But then last night, as John and I were talking the idea of writing came up again. I had written something for him, and I think that’s what brought it up. I know I have the ability and I feel as if God has given me so much to share, and I express myself SO much better in writing. SO, what does all this mean? Who knows?
John encouraged me to simply just start writing again. I used to carry a notebook with me just about everywhere I went. And mostly when I was in a time of worship or prayer I would begin contemplating things and simply put pen to paper and out would flow a few pages of thoughts. Some devotional, some emotional! Anyway, it was from the heart, just what I was thinking about at any given time.
So here I am, picking up the computer and writing what’s on my mind. And on my mind at this point is the overwhelming nature of what “being a writer” means. I was ok with it when it was just something I did for me or for a release or for my own sense of processing. But once I was labeled a writer (I had a prophetic word spoken over me a few years ago that I had a spirit of a scribe. That I was a writer), it seems that my writing lost its single purpose. Like it could be for more then just me. Like God is setting me up for writing for greater purpose. And that thought is overwhelming and the task daunting. So, in lew of John’s loving advice last night, “just write what’s on your heart at any moment during the day.” I’m just writing.
Hunger for the Prophetic
07 Apr 2009 Leave a Comment
in Devos (& other inspirations), Ministry, My Writing Life, Prayer
As I am sitting in my office, talking to Papa, reading, listening to music, catching up on email, and a bunch of other stuff, I decided to listen to some words spoken over me prophetically through the last year or so. To say the least it is very refreshing to hear these words of encouragement and exhortation. They all hit me right where I was at at that time..and incredibly they still each have chords throughout that are good words for me today too! God is good like that, ya know? LOL!
Anyway, while listening to two of the three of them, I was struck by the background noises. The third had no background noise because it was given in a more intimate setting. But the first two had background noise. The first was at IHOP-KC and the second at Metro South, a non-denominational independent Christian church. In both cases there was other ministry, mostly prophetic, going on around me. The setting at IHOP was a time where there were teams of people prepared to pray prophetically over those who wished to be prayed for. At Metro, it was much the same. At IHOP we (a group of three of us and about five on the prayer team) went into a little side room. At Metro, it was after a Sunday service and it was me alone being prayed over by three others, surrounded by other little groups only a few steps away engaging the same way.
Seeing the response to the opportunity to be spoken over by…Ok, side note time: I hesitate to use the word “Prophet” in describing these people. Not because what they do isn’t totally prophecy, but because to call them each a Prophet would be giving them a title. Much like in Eph. 4:11 where Paul is referring to an “office” or “title” given to leaders in the church. These people where exercising the gift of prophecy as in 1 Cor. 12-14. So it is more fitting to call them saints praying for another, exercising the gift of the Spirit for the time at hand. Or, just people praying for other people! LOL
Back on track…the response of the people desiring this kind of ministry upon themselves is astonishing. I ask the question, why is there such a desire to engage in this way. Is it because we are lacking in hearing from the Lord for ourself? Or maybe its because we need confirmation. Or maybe its because we doubt our own ability to hear. Or maybe we believe like old testament believer that only certain or special people can hear from the Lord, so we have to seek them out. I don’t think we truly believe this one, but we do come out of a church culture that promotes the hierarchy of the church…i.e. only the people up front can “get it.” It really is an “old testament” thought. It being Easter this coming Sunday, I am reminded that on that day the veil was torn in two. We can enter the Holy of Holies on our own…we CAN hear from the Lord directly! I know this…and I’m sure most of those seeking prophetic ministry did too. But does the Church as a whole? The burden of teaching this concept, hearing from the Lord for yourself, has been brought to a brighten place for me now. Next step – begin to explore it, and maybe just maybe write something and teach it…uh, that’s a thought I didn’t think would come from the beginning of all of this.
Transitions, Changes, and …
27 Mar 2009 1 Comment
in Family, Friends, Ministry, My Ever Changing Life, My Writing Life, Singleness
“…” usually means there is more to the thought, but the writer couldn’t find words to fit the situation. And that is the case here, I can’t find a word to fit with the rest of the title for this post.
The one things constant in everyone’s life is change. And so I guess I’m normal now beacause the last year of my life has been that, changing. It was about a year ago that the changes were happening for me. I knew that they were coming, I’d known for a long time, but it was around March of 2008 that they really started kicking into effect. The place I had known and loved as a church home, work, and over-all “safe-place” was coming apart right in front of my eyes. The way God moves in the lives of churches and the people within one church is a mystery to me (part of what I’m trying to be more sensitive to these days). Let’s just say God has people together to form a church, but he also has people together for seasons. And it was clear that a season was ending. It was tough…more then tough. I don’t think I cried so much in my life. It was an intense time of letting go. Letting go is never easy. Abraham had to let go of Isaac, his one and only son, his heir to the promise from God. I found much strength in the life of Abraham because he didn’t know what God would do with Isaac, the knife, and the sacrifice. BUT, he did know God and he trusted in Him totally! I had to learn that the hard way. I had to go up the mountain and take a knife to a relationship, take a knife to my comfort zone, and kill myself. But I’m getting it back, better then before. Enough about that…
Since then, I worked for a company that sells agricultural supplies. It wasn’t my “dream job” by any stretch of the imagination, but it was good while it lasted. The way in which I found the job (really the job found me) was full of God. The outcomes from being there are still being reeped. It provided for me for that time. About a month ago, they let me go…economy stinks! When taking the news of my release I wasn’t scared, I knew it was part of the plan. And so for about a month, I’ve been looking only to be “found” again.
Since leaving the church, I have been connected with some of the leadership who also left the church. There is a new ministry being planted as a result. This ministry is based on the 24/7 prayer movement God is orchestrating all over the world, in such places as IHOP-KC. Our goal is to initiate a 24/7 prayer room right here in Northeastern, Ohio. I am excited (and nervous) about what this is going to be and how it’ll play out here locally. It is an amazing move of God to draw His people closer to himself, and ready the bridegroom for His return! For me, its been a divine set up personally for the last few years. Someone asked me what this last year of my life has been about. I told them its been the toughest times, but also the sweetest. If I had to pick a one word theme for it, it would be “intimacy.” The Lord is teaching me intimacy in SO many ways.
One of those ways is through John. John and I have been friends for about two years. We met at church through the young adult ministry we were involved with. He was on the missions trip to Jamaica. Although thoughts of John and I together had popped into my mind a few times, it was never something entertained for many reasons. After leaving the church, and looking for a new job, John and I would talk on random occassions, as our group would still hang out from time to time. The job that I found (that really found me) was the one working with the agricultural supply company. John works there, in the warehouse! Ironic,huh? Well, it wasn’t my choice of jobs, but it was at the “right” time, they paid the “right” amount, and it just seemed like the “right” place to go. So I did, we started dating and here we are over 6 months later, and beginning to plan a life together! YEAH!!!
All of these things have played together to write the story of my life. It’s been rough, it’s been up and down…but God is the author of it all, so it’s good! There are SO many details that I’ve neglected to write, but simply because I don’t want to recall them all. Keeping with it, it has been a season of transitions, changes, and … (a whole bunch of other stuff to keep me going!)
Blogging Basics
27 Mar 2009 2 Comments
in Blogging, Family, My Writing Life
So today, my mom asked me to come into her school and help one of her co-workers on blogging. This co-worker wants to make blogging part of a project for some well advanced second graders. Mom offered me as an “expert” on the subject. I chuckle b/c I think mom thinks I am an expert at just about everything I do…honestly, I just do things. I may be successful, I may not be…either way it’s fine with me. I guess I just don’t understand the whole mom thing yet. But, since I don’t feel adequitely prepared to be an expert on blogging I was doing a little research tonight, before going to sleep…now I realize this is actually keeping me awake. Its been so long since I’ve been around that wordpress even looks different. I did find some good stuff, every thing from Blogger to Typepad to startingablog.com. Each has its own way of going about things. Each with its own unique spin on the world of blogging. I even found a site that listed 26 sites that will pay someone to blog. I thought about investing more into doing this, as I could always use the touted $500-$1000 a month most of these sites promised, however, its really not too realistic that I’d stick to it long enough to make any money from the deal. Who knows, maybe the money would give me incentive. I did find an informative website called, “How to start a blog” that seems very good. It’s basic, simple, and easy to follow. I think its what I’ll use in sharing with mom’s co-worker.
MORE Waiting…
08 Sep 2008 Leave a Comment
in Blogging, My Ever Changing Life, My Writing Life, Randomness
So today is a day of more waiting time…waiting for things to start again, for life to get “fun.” Not that my life isn’t void of fun, but over-all it’s just here. Ever notice that waiting is no fun…b/c generally when you’re waiting, you’re not doing anything. You’re just sitting on your hands until the thing you’re waiting for shows up and you can grab it.
This time I’m waiting for work to be over. Normally I leave at 5…it’s 6:03 pm! It’ll be at least another 15 minutes before I can leave. Ya see…in my new temp job, I’m one of the people (the only one left today) that can correct orders to be sure they get out on time. So, I sit here…waiting. Only instead of sitting on my hands doing nothing, I’m blogging. I’ve been away from it for so long and just recently felt the need to come back.
I thinks it’s because of part of the prophetic word I received a few weeks ago. I was told that I had a similar spirit to a scribe…a writer! And that I should write more and write everything! Funny how God brings back things into our lives that are good when we’ve gotten away from them. Writing has always been a way to think, reflect, and communicate with God for me. Getting away from it, during my “quiet period” I guess was my way of shutting down. But now, lately, even admist all the waiting, I’ve felt like I’ve gotten my voice back. Writing enables me to speak again.
So, I’m waiting for the warehouse to call and say, “we’re done!” But I think I’m waiting to speak again, waiting to talk, to express myself in such a way that is pleasing to the Lord.
