Loosing out on what?

After a short conversation with our Office Manager this morning about the changing of our culture and how she doesn’t understand how we as the church are so far off, she put an article on my desk to read titled, “We don’t date, We hook up.”  She thought I’d be interested to read about the culture that she’s so shocked by that I’m in the middle of (or at least on the tail end of).

The article was about the movement and preferrence of young women (high school and college aged women) to simply hook up (a.k.a. fool around, no strings attached) with guys rather than enter into a relationship.  The writer reported that she followed nine high school and college girls for two years and found that for those girls not “hooking up” often meant losing out.   Loosing out on what?  On heart ache, on depression, on a never-ending cycle of hurts.  I can live without that.

The article did go on to site that some women aren’t OK with the occasional booty call, one night stand, and the friends with benefits scenerio and its these women who are getting hurt.  I would say that about 90% of women, deep down aren’t OK with it.  It hurts to give so much of yourself to someone and then have them walk away with it.  I’ve witnessed it first hand.  The ending quote, condoning this behavior the writer used was from a girl who ended up marrying her  hook up.  She says, “At the end of the day, its really fun, as long as your are safe and emotionally healthy, its just experiences.  It’s stories to make brunch with your girlfriends much more interesting.”  WHAT!!!?

Ok, so I admit I’m coming at this from a very pure vantage point.  I’ve been in two serious relationships in the last four years and didn’t kiss either of them (not entirely my choice) and I haven’t been kissed since my sophomore year in high school.  (Mind you the time between my sophomore year and the first of the serious relationships four years ago, the no kissing thing was a lot less conviction and more a lack of other options)  So what changed for me in that time between?  Conviction!  Honest growth of understanding what power even a simple kiss can have.  I made a commitment to myself and to God and to my future spouse that I wouldn’t do anything that was not honoring to my husband.  And last time I checked, kissing other guys isn’t very honoring to your husband.

So while I’m not calling for a total monistiary mentality…but, I am challenged by my culture.  Its making the divide between myself (and I would hope others who’ve made similar decisions) even wider.   I am becoming more “freak-like” in nature and based on comments reacting to the article by a friend, she is too!  And I can bet that neither of us mind too much!    Although we are saddened by the state of young women in our culture today.