Money

Why is it that it is so hard to do just about anything in this world without money? I live day-to-day wondering if I’m going to be able to make it through to my next pay check. I’m not buying up extra things from week to week. In fact this last pay period I didn’t even go to the grocery store to get more food. I watch what I spend, I budget, and I’m careful how and when I use my credit card and I still have this thing where I feel like I can’t afford enough. My friends go out to dinner, and I can’t afford to buy the meal I really want beacuse its too expensive or I end up not going at all. (Although lately I have sacrified my budget for the sake of fellowship, I get tired of saying, “no, I can’t come…b/c I have no money, or even making up some other lame excuse) Or I try to get them to go to cheaper places in order that I can go. It’s like that episode of Friends when Monica gets a new job and the gang goes out to eat to celebrate. Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey all can’t afford the restartaunt they are at so they order a side salad and water, while Ross, Monica, and Chandler all get fillet mignon-type dishes. When the bill comes they split it 5 even ways (Monica shouldn’t have to pay, after all this is to celebrate her new job as Head Chef), stiffing the three with little cash with a bill around $30 a piece. And they don’t see how a water and side salad should cost them $30.

Now my friends and I don’t split the bill that way, we always get seperate checks, but the feeling was the same. Rachel, Phoebe, and Joey didn’t want to go out b/c of what they knew it would cost them…but they did anyway. Just like them, I work in a job that doesn’t make me a lot of money. But I’m not in it for the money, it’s about SO much more than that. I know where my next paycheck is coming, no matter how small it may be. I wish I could just take what I do make and muliply it. I want to be able to be out of debt and not have to scrimp and save just to do out to dinner with some friends. I’m not in debt up to my eyeballs, I’m working at lowering my it, I have a plan in place that I’m acting on…its just a slow plan.

So while I’m venting about this I keep hearing that still small voice in my head saying, “I’m Jahovah-Gireh, your provider. Let me handle your finances.” Yes, Lord. I know I can’t do anything with them, so help. I know you provide for me. I never go hungry, I have clothes on my back, and a roof over my head…thank you! You know what I make, and You know what I have to pay out each month. You are my supply. You are great at financial planning, so plan my finances!